A Moment For Sookie
by LoveyHowl
Summary: S4. Sookie, Eric, Alcide. Epilogue to Chapter 40 of AU story "You Know Why".
1. A Moment For Sookie

_**A/N.** I didn't forget about her, I just thought she deserved a moment all to herself. I've got to imagine my girl having some kind of happiness before S5..._

I own nothing.

True Blood S4

A Moment For Sookie

"Oh my God, Eric?"

"That would be me," he said as he smirked at her.

Sookie stilled her heart and took a deep breath before she spoke again.

"I thought you were done with me, Eric Northman."

"How could I be? You are not done with me." He sat down on the porch rail in front of her.

"My party was beautiful."

"I know."

Sookie sat in silence again, looking beyond his fine form as he sat, still directing his piercing gaze at her.

"Eric, I love you," she managed at last.

"I know. What else?" he demanded.

"I always loved the killer in you, right from the start."

"Now, Miss Stackhouse, tell me something I do not know," he asked her with the hypnotic seduction that was his voice.

"I love the killer in me. She fascinates me."

"I said tell me something I do not know." His tone became subtly threatening.

"Do I have to give you an answer about being turned right this moment?"

"No."

"Thank you," she said with a sigh of relief.

"Before sunrise would be acceptable."

"Eric! I...I..."

"That's hours from now. Enough time for me to...enlighten you...educate you...Eternity 101—now in session."

"Eric, this is not a joke."

"Do you see me laughing?"

Sookie tried to ignore his threatening tone and the thinly veiled anger in his eyes. "I don't want to be convinced. I want to be sure."

He looked away from her then and spoke to the night. "You are sure. Just say it and get it over with, either way."

"It's the only way I can have you? Really?"

"You already have me. It is the only way that _I_ can have _you_."

"I can accept you, all of you. I can love you. But I can't be a vampire. I'm sorry to be a disappointment to you and I won't waste your time anymore. But I have to be true to myself. And I just can't do it."

Eric looked at her then as he stood up, registering a look of cool resignation that was fast becoming full-on detachment.

"Never apologize for being true to yourself, Sookie Stackhouse. I will have the contractor here in the morning that originally installed the cubby to come and seal it up. But the house is still mine—transfer of title to you or your heirs will only occur in the event of my demise. In the meantime, should you ever have any concerns that need to be addressed regarding the house contact Ginger and she will put you in touch with the appropriate party."

"Eric, I..."

"There are no more words left to be said." His words silenced her.

The first of Sookie's choked sobs erupted from her and she tried to blink the coming tears away. When she opened her eyes Eric was gone.

* * *

><p>Alcide sat in his parked truck twenty minutes up the road. He knew when he left her that he would go back. He didn't know if he'd find her in the arms of Eric Northman or not, but he didn't care. Where that little blond firecracker was concerned he knew that he was just a glutton for punishment.<p>

Alcide was the kind of man who simply needed to see tangible proof that he must give up on anything; he just had to know for sure, no matter how much such definite confirmation might hurt him. It had been that way with Debbie. He knew that many people thought he was stupid to let her run over him the way that she did, but they didn't know the Debbie he knew, the scrappy slip of a girl he'd known since they were children or the sweet girl he had fallen in love when they were teenagers. It was hard for him not to give her the benefit of the doubt and even harder not to care about her. When she went behind his back with Marcus it had been the absolute last straw; the point where he knew that she would never turn away from the darkest part of her nature which had taken over and consumed her.

And so it was with Sookie. From the time they'd first met he'd only known her to be heartbroken and in tears over some vampire and his drama. It had been gut-wrenching to be in the room the night she spoke to Bill Compton when he broke up with her over the phone. And as if that relationship hadn't been disastrous enough now she was in love with Eric Northman. As was to be expected, there was some rift between them; Alcide didn't have the particulars but he didn't really require them to know that Sookie's heart was breaking, yet again. And there he was, in the middle of the fallout, again. But this time it was because he loved her, had fallen in love with her. There were some who would say he was crazy to allow himself to get mixed up in her vamp drama, but until he knew for sure that he couldn't make her see the light of the recognition of his love for her, that's exactly where he vowed to be. As he turned on the engine and put his truck in gear to head back to her house he knew that he could be on the collision course to his own heartbreak, but he had to confirm it—one way or the other.

When he arrived at Sookie's house she was sitting on her porch in the dark. He could see her wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands as she saw him drive up. She rose from her chair to greet him as he got out and made his way up the porch steps.

"Alcide, what are you doing here?" she asked him through her sniffles.

"I was worried about you and thought I should come back and check on you. Looks like I was right to be worried—what's wrong? And don't say 'nothing'..." he warned, his brow furrowed over his dark brown eyes.

"It's over between me and Eric," she said simply.

"I thought it was over a while back, when he got his memory back."

"Well, it's really over, now. Really, officially, finally over. He wanted me to join him, become...like he is. I love him, Alcide...loved him. I just can't do that."

"Look, Sookie, I'm sorry for you about you two not working out, but I'm glad you're not going to be a vampire. I've never been in love with one before."

"What?"

"You have to know that I'm in love with you, Sookie. If you'd have gone through with it...well, I guess there's a first time for everything, huh?"

"Alcide, my heart is broken..." she began uncomfortably.

"Join the damn club. My heart's been broken over you since the first day we met."

"Alcide, I can't just take up with you at the drop of a dime..."

"I'm not asking you to, Sookie. I'm just asking that you let me be here for you and give us some time to see where your feelings may go."

"Well, that's sweet and all, but I'm kinda on the rebound, here, Alcide. You know that's never a good way to start off another relationship and I can't make any promises."

"I don't want promises, Sookie. I just want to be with you."

"Alcide, I'm not even gonna lie: if I spend too much time around you we both know that at some point we'll end up in bed. And when that day happens, because I know it will, I don't want to be crying my eyes out over someone else."

"That's easy—stop crying over him. Seems like you'd be tired of crying over vampires right about now," he said angrily. Sookie took the verbal hit with a physical shuddering of her soul.

"Well, if I'm gonna be with you, even if it's just for sex, then I want it to be about me and you, not me you and Eric Northman," she shot angrily back at him.

"Just for sex?" Alcide asked her incredulously. "Did you not hear what I said? I love you, Sookie Stackhouse. I'm in love with you. I don't want you just for sex."

"Don't you?"

Alcide gave her a look like she should know damn well better than to say such a thing.

"We've been keeping it all above board for quite some time now and for the first time we're both free people. I mean, it looks like Bill and Eric are finally out of your life and Debbie is definitely out of mine." He stepped closer to her, his huge tall frame overpowering her short petite one. "We're free. Free to do whatever we want. But I 'm not asking you to do anything you don't want to do, Sookie. I'm just asking for the chance for us to get to know one another better at whatever pace you want to take it. If you really don't want that just say so. And don't say that we can be friends, because I would like more than that with you. So you just tell me what you want, right now, and if you don't want me I'll never bother you again," he said finally, ready to hear the worst and already angry about it.

Sookie had more than enough ultimatums issued at her for a lifetime and especially in one night. She stepped even closer to Alcide.

"You know, I'm kind of working through some other issues besides Eric. My head's in a real messed up place right now, Alcide. It's really not a good time for me to try and make any major decisions. About anything."

"What things, Sookie? You still pining over Bill?" he growled at her.

"No, not Bill, other things," she trailed off absently.

"What is it, Sookie?" Alcide was incited then to a new level of worry over her as he saw real pain behind the faraway look in her eyes. "Talk to me, Sookie..." he pleaded with her.

"I can't right now."

"Sookie, I'm a real good listener," he said softly.

"Thank you for that. I promise that when I'm ready to talk I'll remember that."

"I'm gonna hold you to it," he smiled at her reassuringly.

Sookie looked up into his eyes wistfully. "This is not going to end well."

"Don't say that," he warned her, his smile fading away.

"I'm not in love with you, Alcide," she said, testing the water.

Alcide responded first by pulling her gently into his arms. "Yet," he murmured as brought his chin to rest on the top of her head.

Sookie dared to place her hands upon him and rested her head upon his warm, broad, rock-hard chest.

"I could get used to that... just so you know," he said softly to her then. Sookie could feel his smile emanating from his whole body.

"So could I, Alcide, just so you know..." she said, desperately trying to hold back her tears as she gave in, finally, to the warmth of his embrace.


	2. Dealing and Healing

I own nothing.

True Blood S4

A Moment For Sookie

Ch 2 Dealing and Healing

"Sookie! C'mon, already—we're gonna be late. You've kissed all the kids about a hundred times each this morning...c'mon, girl, we gotta go..." called Jason from the bottom of her porch steps outside.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" she yelled back at him. She turned to Hadley and gave her a final hug.

"Thank you so much for watching all the kids this morning, Hadley. I'm so glad you're here, and not just because of babysittin'."

"I know, Sookie. It's my pleasure. And I really appreciate you putting me and Hunter up. As soon as Remy can save up a little more money I promise we'll be getting a place of our own."

"You hush. I don't care about that and you know it. You can all stay here forever, as far as I'm concerned."

"Sookie!" Jason called irritatedly as he stomped loudly back up the steps and into the house. "Dang, girl, tryin' to get you out of the house this morning is about as hard as trying to steer a herd of cats. Let's _go_..." he said as he waved her impatiently through the door.

* * *

><p>"You having second thoughts about this, little sister?" he asked her as they drove to Holly Cleary's Survivors of Rape support group.<p>

"No, not at all, Jason. I really do want to do this," she assured him.

"Well, what's the matter? You seem...I don't know...a little reluctant, is all."

"No, not at all. I just...I've just been full of so many emotions, you know? I lie in my bed trying to fall asleep at night and stuff just comes to me. Thoughts, Jason, totally unwelcomed thoughts, even worse than the ones I get from other people. Or, Like, one night, before I went to bed I was cleaning my teeth; flossin' and what not. I decided to get my little cleaning kit, you know the kind you get at the drugstore with the two picks and the little mouth mirror?"

"Yeah?" Jason said slowly, aware of what she was talking about but totally clueless as to where she was going with it.

"Well, there I was, scrapin' tartar off my teeth and all of a sudden I became aware of the metal of the pick; which made me think of the scalpel I used to cut my finger and drop blood on the floor of the maze I was trying to escape out of when I was in Russell's compound; which made me think about being abducted in the first place and when I was strapped to that cold metal gurney, naked and drugged; which made me think of the two monsters that took their turns with me like I was nothing more than a...than a..." Sookie tried to choke back tears.

Jason looked over at his sister who was shaking visibly and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Sookie, honey, I'm so sorry..." he said as he leaned over to take her in his arms.

"I hate it, Jason. When that happens I hate everything; I hate myself; I hate life. And it all comes rushing back and plays like a movie in my mind...and I can't turn it off. I go to sleep full of hate. And then I wake up in the morning and I see Hadley or little Hunter and my heart fills up with so much love I feel like I'm gonna burst. And it amazes me that my heart even has any more room for love at all. But it does. And when I see you, and the babies, and Timbo and Becky—I just get overwhelmed and I pray that I can make those feelings last forever and just push out all of that hate and keep it out. But it doesn't, Jason. The memories always come flooding back, at the strangest, most least expected times and I'm just afraid most of the time; afraid that the hate is going to overtake the love and consume me," she said, full of anguish and through uncontrollable tears.

"Oh, Sook, honey," Jason said as he hugged her tighter, trying desperately to hold back his own tears. "That's why we're goin' where we're goin' today. Just hang on, little sister, please just hang on."

* * *

><p>"Hello, everybody. I'm Holly Cleary. A lot of you know me already, but we have some new faces here today. Welcome, y'all. And I want to say a special hello to the new men here today. I'm honored that you're here and happy that you've made that important first step towards recovery. Because when you're the survivor of sexual abuse every day is a journey towards dealing and healing. I applaud you all for being here because what you're going to realize is that you are not alone.<p>

"As I do when new souls come to join us I give you all my story. Now, some of you know and many of you don't, that I'm a Wiccan. Now, any of you that care to find out what that's really all about can Google it or research it any way you care to. Or not. Rest assured that's not what this group is about. This group is about you and what's happened to you that brought you here. And what happened to me. And how we've all survived it, and how with each others help we're going to _continue_ to survive it."

As Holly briefly told her story Jason, sitting close to his sister, took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Now, enough about me. The floor is open to anyone who wants to talk. Just get on up and introduce yourself and say whatever you feel comfortable sayin'."

"Uh, hello everybody," said a timid young man in the back row as he stood up. "My name is Donnie."

Everyone in the group greeted him warmly.

"I'm twenty-three years old and I work for the road crew. I just started about three weeks ago. I, uh, was raped. By a man. Two years ago. I was at the gas station one night, on my way home after a party. He come up to me and put a gun in my ribs and made me go to the mens' room. He cracked me good across my skull..." he took a deep gulp and shut his eyes tight before he could manage to go on. "I woke up on that filthy floor, bruised and bleeding; humiliated—ashamed. I didn't tell no one. Not my daddy—my daddy's a man's man, you know? We're close but I...I just couldn't tell him. I couldn't even tell my mom." he shifted nervously to his other foot and looked down at the floor, then held his head up and cast his gaze at no one in particular and looked far beyond the walls of the room. "I got herpes, now. That bastard had herpes. I ain't been close to no one since that night. First because I was so ashamed. I dropped my girlfriend—I was so angry all the time and I found myself taking it out on her. Not physically or nothin', I was just mean to her, meaner than a skillet full of rattlesnakes and I didn't know why. I just knew she didn't deserve for me to be treatin' her like that. And thank God I dumped her, cuz I didn't know he left me the gift that keeps on giving. I found that out a month or so later.

"Now I can't trust nobody. I got too many secrets. I can't talk to nobody. I won't ever have a woman again. How can I? What if she told other people? How do you know that a person wouldn't? How do you ever really know what kind of person you're dealin' with? When do you tell 'em? When you first meet? You'll never see them again. After you get to know 'em? They might want to take you out somewhere and shoot you. I'm alone. I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life. I can't hardly even go to the movies with my buddies anymore. I haven't seen one fucking movie yet that don't have some cold herpes joke in it. It ain't no fucking joke. My buddies all howl with laughter and I have to laugh, too, or they'll think...who knows what they'll think. I don't go to movies anymore. I don't hang with my buddies anymore. I don't do anything except think about what the fuck am I even here for; what a coward I am. A real coward, too, cuz it could all just be over. All I really think about is just taking myself out. Who's gonna miss me?" he started to cry. Holly rose and went to him.

"I would miss you, Donnie," she said softly as she took him in her arms. "I don't want to hear anymore of that. You come on over here and sit next to me. Donnie, you have friends here, do you understand me?"

Everyone in the group was either in tears or near them and nodded their affirmation of Holly's words to him in one way or another.

"Sometimes I want to end it all," came Sookie's quiet voice. She stood up slowly. "My name is Sookie. And most days I just plain hate myself. I've been through some things, but who hasn't, right? I was raped repeatedly by two men over the course of three nights and four days. I was strapped down and..." Sookie struggled to go on. "I escaped and I killed them. I enjoyed killing them. And I keep on killing them, over and over, every night in my dreams and my nightmares. I have a lot of love in my life but there's a darkness in me that seems to be trying to take over. And I'm afraid it's going to win the battle against the love and the light and I don't know how to stop it." Sookie sat down again and looked at no one.

Jason stood up then. "Hi, everybody, my name is Jason."

Everyone said hello to him.

"Sookie is my sister. I'm a rape survivor, as well. I was tied down on a bed in a shack and raped by a dozen women, at least. I lost count before I passed out. They drugged me. They hurt me. But what hurt me more? I felt like I deserved it. I've been less than a gentleman in my day; looked at women as little more than objects and treated them worse. But I know in my heart I didn't deserve that, no matter what anyone thinks. Even me. And I'm not that bastard, anymore. Not just because of the rape, but because I've grown as a man. With a lot of help from wonderful people like my sister, here. Donnie, I used to work on the road crew, man. A lot of those guys are real assholes. But there's a few who ain't. You do have friends and you can count me as one of them. You didn't deserve what happened to you, man...not you; Sook; nobody here deserves what happened to them. I know this in my heart and I ain't even heard all your stories yet. Thank you, Holly for making this possible for us all. I love everybody in this room," he looked at his sister then, "and I know love always wins out in the end. It got us through this far. It's gonna take us all the way."

Holly rose from her chair wiping tears from her own eyes. "This is a small town, as y'all know. But the things that have happened to us many times goes beyond even what we do here. Talking always helps, as painful as it can be. Some of us need a little more than talk. I used to work real closely with a fantastic psychologist named Dr. Lydia Broussard from Shreveport."

"Dr. Lydia is great, you guys. She really helped me. Y'all just don't know." chimed in Evelyn Camp, an older woman sitting next to Jason.

"Dr. Lydia was kind enough to work Pro bono with some of our group members," continued Holly. "Unfortunately, she died suddenly a few months ago and I've been trying to find someone to take her place."

"Oh my," said Evelyn in shock.

"When this meeting is over I'm going to call her former associates and light a fire under their asses to refer me to someone else. And when I do—Donnie, Sookie, Jason—I'm going to see to it that you get the additional help you need. And anyone else who feels that they could benefit from more professional help.

"Anybody else want to say anything?" Holly waited. "No? Well then, we always end the meeting with a little prayer by a volunteer who would like to lead it. Everybody join hands. Who would like to lead?" Holly asked the group.

Donnie got up from his chair. "I would, Miss Holly." Donnie joined the circle and bowed his head. "Thank you, God," he whispered simply.

The group waited for more. When Holly realized that was it she smiled and said, "Amen" followed by the rest of the group members.


End file.
